All Must Die

This is a poem I wrote several years ago that I recently found while looking through some files. It’s not great, but I think it is true, and it is an interesting way of looking at life and death. Anyway, hope some of you enjoy it!

The old, old oak tree spreads its boughs

Above the new grass dotted with

Gleaming stones, wet from the rain

That passed through here an hour ago.

The great tree shivers in the cold;

Its massive trunk gives strong support

To gnarled branches, swayed by the wind

Which long sustains a chilly blow.

‘Tis silent here; ‘tis undisturbed,

And day by day no voice is heard

Within these walls of iron and stone.

They do not let joy filter through,

Like laughter, song, and children’s play,

But only such as death can bring:

Sorrow, weeping, grief and gloom;

It seems the walls are crying too.

A verdant hill slopes gently down

Towards the old oak tree. Around,

Upon the ground, much like a sea

Of snowy foam, are stones, so white

From rain they gleam, and seem to wink

Up at the sky, now bearing down

With gentle beams to warm the earth.

It yawns and soaks in all the light.

How can they sit so silently,

These stones among the unmown green,

When each one represents a life

Filled to the brim with everything

That its creator made to be?

Surely, some lived happily,

While others still were never known,

Yet here lay all, this bitter Spring.

The stones don’t care, nor can they tell

What hopes and fears were in the hearts

Of those who lie beneath their mass;

They only hold the date and name,

The graven proof of who they were,

Yet does that mean that all is done;

That now, buried beneath the ground,

The life forever will remain?

No, it cannot and it shall not be!

Life is not worth so small a thing

As gleaming stone to mark its place.

No, it continues- for a few,

To heaven and all it’s beauty

With victory to God will come.

Yet many more will not find rest,

But realize what they never knew.

This place cries out so solemnly

The warning meant for all who pass

And see the ground where all will lay

Until they come unto God’s throne.

There, mercy, grace, undying love,

Are found, and given, only to some.

Yet the place gives warning to the rest,

That many will have never known.

The songs we can hear from this place

All share the haunting melody.

O sinner, don’t you hear that tune?

It’s telling you to run, to flee,

Before you too will lay beneath

The gleaming stone, your fate then sealed,

With nothing left but heart and soul,

Awaiting then what has to be.

The chorus is but three small words,

The sum of which the warning is:

“All must die.” No more or less.

This cannot change, or pass away.

No matter how you live in life,

When you too lay beneath the stone,

What only matters is your heart,

Which, sealed in death, can never change.

© Laura Wingerd 2007

Is God Just a Combination of Attributes?

So, today I was sitting in the information booth at Red Barn Farm. It was a really slow day, and all I could do was sit there. I couldn’t leave my post. So I got out Greek flashcards and worked on those for a while.

After the Greek, I grabbed some scrap pieces of receipt out of the trashcan and started writing some things down. Here is what I wrote on one of the receipts:

What is God? I know that he’s a Spirit, but how (if possible) do we describe him? I don’t know if we can. He’s awesome, holy, all-knowing, righteous, etc. I can easily describe many of his attributes, but I don’t feel like I’m really describing him. There is no one, all-encompassing adjective that gets at every single attribute of God. The closest is that he is holy, utterly unique. And that doesn’t cover everything, and doesn’t get at his essence, does it? What does it mean to be unique? Set apart, completely different from everything else. But even there, it is a negative comparison, describing what God is not like. It still does not describe what he is. He is NOT like anything else.

So, in other words, God is completely indescribable,  down at the very essence, if we can say that. Perhaps he wants it that way. But sometimes I SO want to know, and SO want to see him, face to face! Maybe in heaven I’ll have a better idea of what God is, and who he is.

If we stop and think about it, we really don’t know much at all, other than what he has revealed to us about his nature and character. It makes him all the more mysterious, and for me, makes me desire to seek knowledge of him even more. Praise God that he is completely indescribable! Praise God that we can keep seeking his face and learning to know and love him!

This is awesome, breathtaking, really, to think about!

Biking (flying) and Dreaming

So, I finally got a good bike. The last one was demolished by my dad and brother after I left for college, and parts were salvaged to fix other bikes. So, needless to say, I needed a new one.

Today Sarah and I biked along the Missouri River on Old South Bluff Road. It’s so beautiful there. You can see the river almost the whole time, and you have the State Park on your other side. It’s pretty neat. And today was an awesome day to bike. The weather was so nice!

I’d really like to bike more. It feels really good! I love to climb a really steep hill, and then feel the  rush of wind in my face as I sail down the other side. It is exhilarating, to say the least. There’s a sense of feeling like you can almost fly, or that you’re at least going to try!  I am going to try and see if my brother will bike with me every morning. It would be a great way to start the day!

I’ve often thought about what it would be like to bike across the whole country. There have been several people who have stopped by the tea room I work at in Platte City who are on some sort of bike route like that. They must see so many awesome sights! And just the accomplishment of actually doing it would be pretty incredible. I doubt I’ll ever be able to do something that extensive, but, you never know. Maybe I’ll just start with biking the 8 miles of trail every day, and see where it goes from there.

“I pray you, show me your glory!”

I have been thinking a lot lately about what it means to pursue God. I mean to truly pursue him.

I listened to a sermon by Paul Washer the other day. He was describing his intense struggle to know God. He retold how he had begun to pray for God to show him his face, his presence. For three months, night after night he begged God to show himself to him. But God “wouldn’t come.”  Then one night, he “came.” Washer describes it as almost being knocked to the floor with the sheer weight of God’s presence. Awesome.

I want that! I want so badly to be “knocked to the ground” with the weight of God’s glory! And I have only felt something remotely like that a couple of times in my life. But it seems so hard to get. It takes so much work sometimes! I want it to be easy! Like in heaven, when we are actually in God’s presence. I want my life to be that way, since I am actually in his presence in a sense. Why is it so difficult?

I think, I know the answer, at least partly. The biggest reason is, of course, we are still in a sinful world, with sin always nagging us, and we are worn down with this life. In heaven, we will truly be in the presence of God, actually seeing him face to face. It will be impossible to be distracted by anything else.

But the practical reason is, we pursue other things. I’m not saying it’s wrong to pursue other things. Not necessarily, anyhow. But it’s the way that we do it. What I mean is, we tend to prioritize our pursuits. And very often, the pursuit of knowing God gets prioritized. Therein lies the problem.

God cannot be prioritized. Pursuing God should be like eating and drinking– a natural desire and fulfillment. But how often I feel like my attitude is : “I will pursue God after I finish this or that. After I get this done, then I will have time to pursue him more deeply.” Well, what I am doing may be very important, but . . . that important?

I was shocked when I found myself consciously thinking something like that the other day. I was at work, and was thinking about how I want so much more to pursue God. Then I felt the flashcards in my pocket and thought, “oh yeah, I have that Greek exam to study for. I’d better get that done, and then  can focus more intensely on my pursuit of God.”  What? Did I actually think that? Yes, and sadly, I realized it’s true of a lot of the way I live my life.

So, all of this to say, pursue God. And that means, first, foremost, before everything else. Greek exams are important, and there are many very important things in life. I’m not suggesting that we need to be anywhere close to the cloistered life of a monk. I’m saying that in daily life, God cannot be prioritized; He must be centralized, and everything else should form around that. I’m sure this has been said before. But it’s helpful for me to write it out anyway. God is so worthy of being pursued. God, please show me your glory! Please knock me to the ground with it!

Then Moses said, “I pray you, show me your glory!” And he said, “I Myself will make all My goodness pass before you, and will proclaim the name of the Lord before you; and I will be gracious to whom I will be gracious, and will show compassion on whom I will show compassion.” But he said, “You cannot see my face, for no man can see Me and live!” Then the Lord said, “Behold, there is a place my Me, and you shall stand there on the rock; and it will come about, while my glory is passing by, that I will put you in the cleft of the rock and cover you with My hand until I have passed by. Then I will take my hand away and you shall see my back, but my face shall not be seen.” Exodus 33:17-23

Greek and Barnyard 101

So this semester I’m working and studying Greek. It’s been a lot of fun so far. I love Greek. I can pick up a New Testament and actually read quite a lot of it. That’s exciting!

I got a job yesterday at my favorite place to work . . . Red Barn Farm. Among other things, during the week I am going to be leading  school tours! This is going to be interesting! I have been there when school tours were going on before, but have never led one, so we’ll see how this goes. For the most part it has impressed me as a bunch of bratty kids following an exasperated teacher around the yard. But I hope to change that.

Cindy, my boss, gave me a packet of information to study for the tours. It’s full of farm facts, most of which I did not know. I feel like I’m taking another class, but this one I have ot turn around and teach!

Some of the  random facts in the packet are:

1. Bees are the only insects that produce something that we can eat. They have been making honey for over 150 million years! (a fact I will have to change, slightly )

2. A queen bee will eventually have over 60,000 daughters, ad only a few hundred sons.

3. There are about 340-50 squirts (of milk) per gallon.

4. Pigs cannot sweat (thus all that rolling in the mud).

5. Goslings can “adopt” people as their parents, because a gosling identifies the first thing it sees as its parent.

And etc. Those are only a few. But this is going to be interesting!

I’m Back!

Okay . . . it’s been way too long since my last post. March? That’s . . . 5 or 6 months! Sorry! I’ve been busy, but that’s not an excuse, I guess.

I guess the first thing I should do is bring the blog up to date. Basically, I finished my Freshman year, came home for the summer to work, realized while home that I was going to need to stay home for a semester and work, and so am now 4 weeks into an online Greek class and working 50+ hours a week at two jobs! I think that’s about it in a nutshell. So I didn’t write because that was all . . . kind of boring. But I will try hard to spice my life up now . . . at least in writing.

This is not supposed to be a long post. Basically I am just announcing that I’m going to be doing my best once again to maintain some sort of consistency in posting. This is for several reasons.

1) I want to do it.   2) People have started to complain.  3) I’m the kind of person that has to finish something I’ve started, and finish it well.  4) It’s a lot of fun once I get into it!

So, there, I have no excuse. We’ll see how this goes.

Expelled: No Intelligence Allowed

In my World Views class the past two weeks we have been studying Intelligent Design. Last week and yesterday we watched the recently released movie, Expelled: No Intelligence Allowed, with Ben Stein. It was actually really good.

The overall point of the movie is to prove that there is validity to the Intelligent Design claims. Stein, who is Jew, explores the many facets of the “battle” between the Intelligent Design movement and opposing views, especially the evolutionary theory. Stein works to bring to light the fact that the opposing views are hostile towards those who hold to Intelligent Design (ID), and that, for the most part, discussion of its ideas has been ignored and pushed out of classrooms and academia.

The “battle” is a lot bigger than I thought, and this video is very eye-opening. It’s true, it is a one-sided view of the argument; Stein holds to ID and promotes it. Critics could claim that it is biased. And it is. But, there has to be bias in presenting the truth, and that is how Stein has come about it. He examines the other arguments, but does not give them any foothold in taking control of the argument. ID is clearly the victor. The opponents are shown primarily in their “worst” lights. A question that should be asked is, “How helpful is it for Stein to make fun of and not listen to the ideas of these people, while blaming them for doing the very same thing?” It comes across in rather a bad light because of that, and the approach ends up as not very convincing, especially for someone opposed to the view. But, on the whole, the information brought forth is very valuable, especially for those who are open to learning and seeking the truth.

When I was done watching, I could not help but be challenged. As I was walking back to my room, I stared up at the sky, and at creation all around me, and worshiped God for it. I believe in Intelligent Design. I believe that there is ONE Intelligent Designer: God. But it was good for me to reaffirm that and also to reaffirm why I believe that. The evidence is clearly proof of God’s hand on the world.

There is much at stake in believing these things. At one point, an interviewee openly mocks Creationists, saying that “they’re the real idiots,” in reference to belief in the ark and the survival of creation through that. Are we strong enough in our faith to take such scorn? It is definitely time that we as Christians reaffirm and proclaim what we believe. Such a foundational part of the Christian World View should not be taken lightly, or sort of “skipped” in our attempts to present the Gospel. This Intelligent Designer is at the very center of what we believe, and should therefore be the center of everything we talk about, and of the way that we live our lives.

It is interesting to watch the conversation Stein has with evolutionist/atheist Richard Dawkins. Dawkins is speaking about how evolution explains everything. Stein asks the simple question, “how did life begin?” Dawkins admits that he has no idea. He suggests the possibility of highly developed intelligent creatures from another planet having come to earth very long ago, and created what we see, explaining the design that is in the world. Stein responds by saying he had no idea that Dawkins believed in Intelligent Design! Ultimately, when it comes down to it, Dawkins confesses that evolution has no explanation for the origin of life. He utterly rejects any notion of the Hebrew God of the Bible, and opts for the extraterrestrial creatures. An arbitrary argument at best, his comeback is weak, and the point is made that perhaps evolution is not the best answer after all.

The extreme of rejecting the Intelligent Design explanation results in the haunting reality of absolute futility. The movie very vividly portrays this with one man’s testimony of having come from believing in ID to ultimately rejecting it. Dr. William Provine passionately declares what he now feels: no hope, no God, no life after death, and no human free will. He said,

It starts by giving up an active deity, then it gives up the hope that is in your life after death. When you give those two up, the rest follows fairly easily. You give up the hope that there is an imminent morality. And finally, there’s no human free will. If you believe in evolution, you can’t hope that there be any free will. There’s no hope whatsoever of there being any deep meaning in human life. We live, we die, and we’re gone. We’re absolutely gone when we die.

Let’s suppose my [brain] tumor comes back, as it almost certainly will. Well, I’m not going to sit around like my older brother did last year as he was dying of ALS, Lou Gehrig’s disease. He wanted desperately to die, but we couldn’t help him die. I don’t want to die like that. I want to shoot myself in the head long before then. I’m going to do something different.

I don’t feel one bit bad about holding the views that I do. There’s not anything in the views I hold that makes me, “Oh, I wish I had free will,” or, “Oh, I wish there was a God.” I don’t EVER, EVER, wish that.

Those words are haunting. “We live, we die, and we’re gone.” That’s it. There is no meaning to life. What a sad place to be! That is the other extreme of this debate, and it is such a tragic place to be. We need to press for the truth to be known because of that. Because people like that are living lives of absolute meaninglessness. Because people like that are perfectly willing to die and go completely out of existence. Because people like that have absolutely no hope. I hope this is as sobering to you as it was to me.

So, yes, the movie is biased. It is one-sided. But it is so for the purpose of showing that the ideas of evolution are dominating academia, and the Intelligent Design is being pushed out of scope completely. It’s not only not fair in a purely scientific aspect, in that every view should be able to have equal validity until proven false, but it is a dangerous position. Expelled is a call to people of every place and status to examine these things. There is a battle on. And for Christians, what is at stake is the truth about everything we believe and trust and love and hope for. Can we remain silent on this issue?

So . . . . Where Was I?

It’s been a really long time since I last wrote! Sorry for that. This isn’t going to be a great post or anything, but I thought I’d better update this a little.

What better to update with than an update?

College is going really well. I am really enjoying my classes this semester (no more math! Woohoo!). I am taking 15 hours again, so not too daunting, but enough to keep me busy. My classes are: Intro to Psychology, World Views II, Old Testament I, Ancient Near Eastern History, and Theology I. I am really enjoying all of them.

I haven’t had too many tests yet (actually, only one) but I see them just on the horizon. But it won’t be too bad, I don’t think.

I am having a great time with my church family. I still can’t get over the fact that God has given Christians the church for a blessing in life. It is such a blessing to me. If you think about it, it is an amazing concept. People dedicate their lives to each other in service and love, more than they ever would for other people. They support and encourage each other constantly. They show forth the love of Christ. They worship God together in song and in hearing the word preached. It’s rather like a marriage. These people are committing to serve and love and protect to the best of their ability each individual of the body for as long as they may have the chance. Wow, it is really overwhelming. Not that my church is perfect, but this is the goal, and we all know it, and are working hard towards it. All of this to say, I am really, really enjoying the fellowship I have with my church, and feel very blessed by it.

This is kind of like one of those long news letters that people send out at Christmas, that you really don’t want to read all of, but feel like you have to (Does anyone else feel that way? Maybe it’s just me. No offense to anyone!:). I feel like I have to examine every aspect of my life and give a report. So, school, church, . . what else is there?

Well, friends, I guess. I have quite a few good friends that I hang out with quite a bit. But I do study a lot. Maybe I’m really boring. I don’t know. In any case, the friends that I have are all friends who are willing to study with me, so, I guess that’s commitment there. There’s nothing like being friends with someone that sits next to you, just as intent on studying as you are, just as intent  on not talking to you as you are to them, just as intent on “I will focus on this assignment” as you are. It’s great. Am I really needy to need friends like that? I wouldn’t have many if I didn’t have some who were willing to do that. They’re great. I do try to do fun things too, however (for those who say that studying can’t be fun)(And besides, there’s always facebook! Cyber friends, woohoo!)

In terms of music, I still practice the piano some, but by no means every day. My main chance to play is for church. But I do manage to slip over to the practice rooms every once in a while.  I am playing guitar quite a bit. I’m still not any good, but I’m working on it. My skin is peeling off of the fingers on my left hand, and the tips of them are very flat now. But I understand those to be good signs, so, be encouraged. I will be good someday! I also enjoy sometimes playing and singing with some of the girls in my dormitory. We get going really loudly sometimes, with several harmonies. It’s probably not always the greatest sound, but, hey, we have fun!

Well, the weather’s been nice here lately (here’s the point where you’re thinking, “Oh, great, now she’s talking about the weather. She must be bored because she’s stalling for time, and she’s wasting my time). Well, sorry if I am, but the weather has been nice. It’s finally getting warmer. Yay! I can’t wait for Spring. I have heard that it’s really beautiful in Kentucky, and I can’t wait to experience it firsthand!

Well, that’s about all I can think of. If you have any questions or comments (or complaints), I’ll try to answer them in the next few months or so, hopefully (if anyone is even still out there. I’ve really dropped the ball, haven’t I?) Miss everyone. Can’t wait to see you all again. (Well, you know what I mean. I’m not homesick or anything:) I will try to be more faithful in my posting. Thanks for bearing with me!

Laura

English Bloopers

My English Professor gave us a list of some pretty hilarious bloopers in writing. I hope you get as much of a laugh as I did.

These are sentences allegedly taken from letters received by a welfare department in applications for support.

1. I am forwarding my marriage and six children. I have seven, but one died which was baptized on a half sheet of paper.
2. I am writing the welfare department to say that my baby was born two years old. When do I get my money?
3. Mrs. Jones has not had any clothes for a year and has been visited regularly by the clergy.
4. I cannot get sick pay. I have six children. Can you tell why?
5. I am glad to report that my husband who is missing is dead.
6. This is my eight child. What are you going to do about it?
7. Please find for certain if my husband is dead. The man I am not living with cannot eat or do anything until he knows.
8. I am very much annoyed to find that you have branded my son illiterate. This is a dirty lie as I was married a week before he was born.
9. In answer to your letter, I have given birth to a boy weighing ten pounds. I hope this is satisfactory.
10. I am forwarding my marriage certificate and three children, one of which is a mistake as you can see.
11. Unless I get my husband’s money pretty soon, I will be forced to live an immortal life.
12. You have changed my little boy to a girl. Will this make any difference?
13. In accordance with your instructions I have given birth to twins in the enclosed envelope.

These are some newspaper bloopers.

1. Illiterate? Write today for free help.
2. Auto Repair Service. Free pick up and delivery. Try us once, and you’ll never go anywhere again.
3. Our experienced mother will care for your child. Fenced yard, meals, and smacks included.
4. Dogs for sale; eats anything and is fond of children.
5. Man wanted to work in dynamite factory. Must be willing to travel.
6. Stock up and save.  Limit: one. Semi-annual after-Christmas sale.
7. 3-year-old teacher needed for pre-school. Experience preferred.
8. Mixing bowl set designed to please a cook with round bottom for efficient beating.
9. Girl wanted to assist magician in cutting off head illusion. Benefits: Blue Cross Medical Insurance and salary.
10. Dinner Special– Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00
11. For sale: an antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers.
12. Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home too.
13. We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand.
14. Great Dames for sale. Also have several very old dresses from grandmother in beautiful condition.
15. Vacation Special: Have your home exterminated.

If you’re not laughing by this point . . .

An Explanation of the Previous Post

The following post I wrote (on a blank, white sheet of paper) while I was sitting in my room, procrastinating. I’ll admit it. I was supposed to be studying. But the idea of what I wrote so grabbed my mind that I couldn’t stop until it was all written. I’ll admit, I maybe don’t agree with everything I presented, but just take the view and realize it is the rambling of a procrastinating college student, and have fun. (I do really mean what I give as my main point, however. I’m pretty passionate about using words for the glory of God in writing.)